Everything

Nyasu! ^^

Yes, I am still alive. :`) Is there anybody, who still reads the blog? xD
So at first... what should I write? The spring is here! ^-^ Me and my family went to the Sakura Matsuri at the 28th. The weather was good till about 4, but then it was getting cold and I wanted to go home, but we haven`t see the cosplay show yet.
By the way, it was fun. The programs were the same as last year, so me and mom didn`t go inside the tent only when the dancing show started. But my bro is crazy so he sat there through 4-5 hours. Me and mom visited the tea ceremony, and it was fun. For my mom because of the many Japanese manners and for me because... I love Japan. :'D
I made rice balls for the day, and they were good. ^^ I want to make tomorrow too.
I got a job, two days on a week. I have to watch after a three years old boy on Tuesday and Thursday. I went to the place on last Thursday for a training day. The kiddo was cute and... the house is big because they`re rich people. I`m glad to got this job because even though it`s only two days, the money is good, and sometimes I`ll stay more hours, what they`re gonna pay as plus.
Ah, somehow... I cannot write now... I`m just not in that 'writing mood'. Recently I have a lot of things to do, and no time. I have to translate, learn, there is the guitar - I broke a string, so we went to fix it, but since that day I haven`t touch it - and I should go to GYM, because summer is coming and I am not in shape... >.> So I choose the 'eat just a little' version, but it`s hard too... :')
And I am quite desperate too... I`ve finished a book, what is about a high school love story, and it`s my fave book ever. - well... besides Harry Potter >< - And I`m missing high school... I haven`t graduated yet. I have one more year left. And it was two years ago when I was at 11th grade. (It`s 3rd grade in other words) I forgot everything and I am afraid I won`t be able to graduate. My future is so vague, I am already planning what I want to do with my life, but I am still so far away of living and I am almost 20 years old. My friends graduated or will next year, are going to college and living the normal student life. Maybe that`s why I always want to do something that has meaning. Like learning Japanese and translating.
Besides I feel I have less and less friend. Why? I don`t know.. maybe because I am unbearable or they just can`t stay because of the distance. Or simply because they`re living their own life in the college. They`ve new friends and new life where I don`t have a place. Or... I just cannot keep my friends. :') By the way I don`t know how I mean this, because... how to say... my best friend... we only talk on twitter, or on facebook if I share something... I miss our old, long conversations when we were classmates and there weren`t hundreds of miles between us. I don`t know what to do. I can`t do anything because I am here. ^^' I feel our conversations are getting more and more polite. I miss the guy who used to be my close friend... recently he is so kind to me, I don`t know how he is feeling. :') Maybe he changed - in the past we fought a lot -, maybe the distance between us is growing. But I think it`s just my imagination. xD *don`t want to fight with him again!*
Maybe I am just too stupid and can`t trust them. The feeling they`re gonna leave me soon is growing inside me.
Anyway... - this is getting more and more meaningless. xD - their life is going on but mine just have stopped.
But the time hasn`t...

Sorry for the deep entry. >< But for the end, let me put this wonderful man, because he is my inspiration everyday. ♥ When he is singing, when he is writing or taking photos. Even when he looks like a looser. >< *it`s not because of him. It`s because of Tegoshi* But he is perfect for me... because I am a totally looser. It makes sense. :D

I want him to listen my feelings because he was lost too, at the beginning. It`s good to have an ideal at least, who can urge you at the hard times. :3 

I want to become a person like him.:)

So I have to be strong. ;)

I can do it!

Yeah! ^-^

Pyon ~ 

-Sorry for that >< -

 I`m going to sleep now, and tomorrow I`ll do my best in the Japanese, and the translation... and I should go to GYM... never mind.

Be happy all ~ ^^